


The First Time

by Megameatloafcake



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh!
Genre: Awkward Sex, Drabbles of the dorky bean pole, F/M, I'm actually LIVING for writing awkward sex stories, Loss of Virginity, Reader is a goof, especially considering how Seto is typically depicted as being super serious, i dunno man, it's a nice change of pace
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-08
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-03-15 09:12:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13610184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Megameatloafcake/pseuds/Megameatloafcake
Summary: A series of one-shots of having sexual relations with the one and only Seto Kaiba





	1. First Time Ever Having Sex

**Author's Note:**

> Am I a terrible writer for rarely updating? Yes.Yes I am.  
> So in hopes of making up to all of you lovely readers, I wrote a 16 page one-shot. I haven't read any smut that detailed awkward first-time sex, so I will bear the weight on my shoulders. Here is an awkward, funny, goofy first-time sex story with everyone’s favorite asshole!
> 
> Update 09/02/2018: I’m just having so much fun editing all of the mistakes I missed when I edited this beforehand. This is fine. Everything’s fine.
> 
> Update 11/02/2018: Hnnggg I have zero idea why there are so many random italicized sentences. Okay, HOPEFULLY everything is edited and we’re all good for now

_“Let’s have sex?”_

You were hella surprised when Seto brought up the suggestion. Seto Kaiba, the most incredibly awkward bean pole to ever exist when it comes to any kind of intimacy, wants to do one of the most physically intimate activities in a relationship. The man has never had a girlfriend before, let alone ever had _sex_!

You looked up at him from where he stood and straightened yourself from your position on his bed, where you were messing with your cellphone before he returned home to his mansion from work. You rose an eyebrow at him and placed your phone on your nightstand.

“What made you bring this up all of a sudden?”

Seto frowned.

“Do I need to have a reason for wanting to try having sex?”

You pursed your lip out at him.

“Well, no. It’s just that you have _never_ in the three years that we’ve been dating and the one year we’ve lived together expressed that you ever wanted to get intimate. It took you almost _a year_ for you to let me hold your hand, so pardon me for being a little suspicious.”

Seto rolled his eyes as he removed his suit jacket, walking to your shared walk-in closet as he did so.

“There’s nothing to be suspicious about. It’s been on my mind for a while, and I’m sure it’s been on yours as well. Is that so wrong?”

Even though he couldn’t see it, you let out a sigh and stared guiltily into your lap.

“No, it’s not wrong. I apologize for being suspicious, it’s just surprising is all.”

The room was quiet as you waited for Seto to finish with his nightly routine. He seemed to be taking forever, and you were starting to feel a nervous flush creep up your face. You have had sex before, but you knew Kaiba has had zero experience. You’ve never taken someone’s virginity before, so you were sure that this was going to be an incredibly awkward experience.

“Do you even know how sex works Seto?”

You heard your boyfriend spit, though whether it was his reaction to your question or if he was finished brushing his teeth you couldn’t tell, but you could have sworn you heard him try to smother some coughs.

“Yes, I know how sex works.” He sounded indignant and it almost made you laugh.

You leaned back against the pillows and folded your arms over your chest. You were completely alright with having sex with Kaiba, but was _he_ going to be alright?

“Are you really sure that you’re okay with this?” you asked one more time as Seto came out of the bathroom, changed into his sleeping attire rather than his work clothes.

He gave you a rather hard look.

“You’re the one who’s been asking the questions, are _you_ okay with this?”

“Touché,” you replied, watching as Seto walked around the bed. He kneeled in front of you and took your hand into one of his larger ones, and you let out a relenting sigh as you shifted on the bed so that your legs hung off the side. “Alright, let’s give it a shot.”

Seto nodded and straightened up.

“Hang on, let me go grab a few things,” he completely deadpanned, his face was unreadable and he quickly turned away from you and walked once again towards the closet.

Nervousness began to flood your belly almost as fast as the thoughts that rushed through your head. What could the ‘few things’ be? Did he want to _try_ something? Does he have _kinks?_ Does he even know what those are?? Could he be into BDSM?? WOULD IT _REALLY_ SURPRISE YOU IF HE WAS???

You were jolted out of your thoughts by Seto coughing to get your attention. Glancing up at him you saw that he carried several boxes of various lubes and condoms in his arms, each one being a different type and company. 

“I didn’t know which kind to get, so I got them all.” 

You could not help the burst of laughter that flew out of your mouth, because _of course_ Seto “Extra” Kaiba would buy a convenient store’s worth of different condoms and lubes for this. He blinked at your reaction, his blue eyes full of confusion before looking shyly down at the floor. While his face remained pale, you could see a pink tint color his ears. Once you calmed down enough, you got on your knees on the bed, making you a little taller than him. You reached forward and gently touched his cheek, though amusement still flickered in your eyes once they met with Seto’s. 

“Seto, I’m happy that you went through all this trouble for little old me.” 

He held your gaze for a moment longer before he unceremoniously dumped all the boxes onto the bed. 

“Yeah, well I wish that I had asked you to pick out some stuff since you’re the one who knows what you’re doing,” he walked around and sat on his respective side of the bed, focusing on the boxes at the foot of the bed. 

The two of you sat in a tense and awkward silence for a moment longer. 

“Sooooo, how do you wanna do this?” you asked, moving to lay on your back with your head turned toward him. 

Seto hesitated for a moment before he adjusted himself so that he was laying down on his side and facing you, resting his elbow on the pillows and propping his head up in that same hand. 

“Look, I’m a genius, and I hate it when I don’t understand how to do something. But I’ll admit that I have no idea how this whole...thing is supposed to work.” 

“You’ve never watched porn before?” you asked with a slight laugh. 

Color reached his entire face and he turned to you with an accusatory look. 

“No!!! ...have you?” 

You simply shrug. 

“I’ve seen some stuff on tumblr, but I’m not into it.” 

Seto pressed his lips together. 

“This isn’t easy for me to admit, but...” he looked away from you, his face grew into a color of red that almost made him look like a completely different person. You patiently waited for him to finish his sentence. Finally, when he looked back at you, you could see determination in his eyes. “I’ll need you to teach me how to...” 

“How to fuck?” You offered. 

Seto looked away quickly, though why he hid his blush when you already saw how red his face was you didn’t know. 

“There’s no need to be so blunt about it...” he mumbled. 

You decided to troll him a little bit. 

“How to bone? Make love? Bang each other like a pinkie toe against the corner of a table?” 

Seto rolled his eyes and let out an annoyed huff, but you saw an amused smirk on his face. 

“Alright, we get it.” 

You chuckled quietly. 

“Ummm, okay...” You began to glance around the room, then looked back at Seto. You made a face and shrugged. “I guess we should start with...taking our clothes off?” 

Seto nodded stiffly and quickly got off the bed, you followed suit on your own side. The two of you had seen each other nearly naked before, but this was a whole new experience for either of you as you each shed off your layers of clothing. Once you were as bare as the day you were born, you took a moment to examine his body. For a man who barely remembered that he needed to eat and sleep in order to function, you were surprised to see that he had a surprisingly lean and toned body. With pecs and abs and everything. 

“I call hacks!” 

Seto have you an incredulous look as he began to slide his pants off. 

“Come again?” 

You pointed at his body, as if you were from those Ace Attorney games. 

“You are waayyy too busy to be this physically fit! Seriously, how the hell do you remember to go to a gym but not eat. This is ludicrous, Seto. LUDICROUS.” 

Your voice grew higher in pitch and humorously screechy towards the end of your rant. Seto only rolled his eyes as he tugged down his pants and boxers. Your eyes eagerly traced the V-line of his hips that lead down to his crotch- you couldn’t help the impressed whistle that escaped your lips when your eyes landed on his above-average length. 

“Not bad,” you said mostly to yourself. 

This made Seto even more flustered and he almost covered himself up. You giggled, hopped on the bed and repositioned yourself so that you were laying down in the center of the bed. 

“You’re so cute!” 

He let out a huff and looked away, but when he looked at you again he shyly began to gaze at your own body. You laughed as you extended your arms and made a grabby-hands motion at him when his attention was once again on your face. Hesitantly, Seto climbed up on the bed, watching you to cue him for what you wanted him to do. You moved your legs apart a little more and continued to hold out your arms for him to indicate that you wanted to hold him. He sat on his knees for a moment, taking in the sight of your spread legs before his sapphire gaze was once again back at you, although now his pupils were much more dilated. He almost sensually crawled up to you and settled himself between your legs before laying on you; you only say _almost_ sensually simply due to the fact that this was probably unintentional on his part. Once your bodies were pressed together you smiled up at him, your noses barely touching. 

“Hi!” you said cheerily. 

“...hi?" 

You lightly tapped at his nose with your forefinger. 

“Boop!" 

You giggled at the way he crinkled his nose and the offended look he gave you. 

“Why?” 

You continued to smile up at him like a dumbass. 

“Because you’re cute.” 

He huffed. 

“Because I’m inexperienced?” 

“Yup!” You exclaimed, reaching up and booping his nose again. 

Seto glared down at you, his patience was clearly starting to run thin. 

“Do you actually want to do this or not?” 

You were taken aback, surprised by how snippy Seto was suddenly getting. You always wanted to try and be goofy and silly during sex, but Seto was clearly far too nervous for any of that. You brushed your lips up against his cheek. 

“I’m sorry, I was just trying to lighten the mood a little.” 

Seto only grunted in response. 

“I would prefer that you take this a little more seriously.” 

You inwardly smirked, but outwardly your face became blank and serious. 

“Alright Mr. Kaiba. How shall we proceed?” Your voice deepened a bit as you spoke. 

Seto rolled his eyes, shifting his weight to one arm and reaching up with his other arm to flick your forehead. 

“I didn’t mean for you to take it _that_ seriously.” 

You grinned. 

“Hmmm, yes,” you began to speak in a goofy and pompous voice. “How would you like to proceed with the act of coitus? Shall we take your penis and insert it into my vagina now?” you intentionally mispronounced the words ‘penis’ and ‘vagina’. “What’s on the schedule?” 

You heard Seto chuckle before he kissed you on the cheek. 

“Now you’re just being absurd.” 

“No, what would be absurd is if we actually followed through with this like it was a business meeting. With an actual schedule and business suits and everything. I think I have a bowtie and a fancy pair of glasses somewhere.” 

This time he let out a small laugh. He seemed to be calmer now, good. 

“You’re such a dork. Why am I dating you again?” He sounded annoyed, but you heard the smile in his voice. 

“Because I’m funny?” you offered. Seto let out another grunt, and you laughed again. 

“So what now?” 

You hummed thoughtfully, your eyes rolling up to the headboard as you brainstormed. 

“Well, how about we start with some smooching and see where that leads?” 

He let a puff of air out through his nose before he leaned down and kissed you, pressing his warm and firm body against your softer one, and you relished the feeling. Your hands began to roamed over the expanse of each other’s bodies. You lightly traced your nails along his toned back, causing him to shiver and let out a pleased hum. You decided to grow bolder. You opened your mouth slightly and took his lower lip in between your teeth, giving him a playful nip before pulling back. 

Seto’s eyes opened with intrigue. He leaned forward to once again capture your lips, but you leaned away slightly, just to tease him a bit. When he drew back, the look on his face was nearly enough to make you come undone; his heavy-lidded eyes were incredibly dilated, making his royal blue eyes look even darker, his lips were pink and slightly swollen due to your previous ministrations. He was glaring at you, although you could see a hint of amusement in his eyes. Suddenly he lurched forward to kiss you once again, meaning to kiss you before you could move away again. It ended up with him accidentally slamming his forehead into yours, your noses hit and the collision caused you to bite your lip. 

“Oww!” You whined, but laughter poured out of your now swollen lips as you rubbed at your forehead and crinkled your nose. 

Seto almost immediately rolled off of you as soon as his head hit yours and turned away from you, nursing his head and his wounded pride. You looked over at him, scooching up to him so that you were pressed up against his back and placed a chaste kiss on the side of his neck. 

“No need to be so pouty. But how about you let me take the lead, since I know what I’m doing?” 

You lightly ran your fingers along his side as you waited for the pouty baby that was your boyfriend to respond. You moved up and pressed the side of your face into his, smushing your cheeks almost painfully together. 

“Ugh, fine.” 

Seto pushed you away and rolled onto his back, looking at you expectantly. You were pleased as well as delightfully surprised that Seto was capable of relinquishing control to anyone else. You smiled at him and climbed into his lap, he allowed you to man-handle him into sitting up with his back leaning against the headboard. You felt a surge of pride when you felt how hard he was when you settled yourself into his lap, hearing him take a sharp breath at the feeling of how warm and wet you were against him. You cupped his chin into your hands and pulled his face in for an innocent kiss. 

“Do you know what French-kissing is?” you asked after you broke the kiss. 

You felt his cock twitch under you in excitement. 

“I’ve heard of it.” 

You perked up a little. 

“Shall we give it a whirl?” you asked, you laughed as an afterthought at your unintended pun. 

Seto gave you an odd look before answering. 

“...sure.” 

Satisfied with his answer you tilted his face up to yours and pressed your lips together. The kiss was awkward at first, he was frustratingly unresponsive, but he eventually started kissing you back as you gently raked your hands up and down his sides. You felt his chest rumble from a quiet moan that came from him when you wrapped your arms around his neck, tangled your fingers into his soft hair, and pressed your body closer against his. His hands once again began to roam your body, tracing over your sides, rear, and thighs before he settled one on the small of your back and buried the other in your hair. This time, he was the one who bit at _your_ lip, and a coy smile tugged at your lips before you could stop it when he pulled away. 

“You’re certainly learning quickly.” 

Seto smirked. 

“I’m a fast learner,” his breath was warm against your lips and his voice was deeper with a husky edge of lust. 

His voice made you moan and you felt a sudden surge rush between your legs, causing you to roll your hips against his. It was Seto’s turn to moan before you once again kissed him, this time you slipped your tongue into his mouth. He made a surprised hiccupping noise, which was so foreign to your ears that it made you draw back. 

“What was that noise you made?” You asked with a giggle. 

Seto glared at you, annoyed that you stopped kissing him. 

“Shut up.” 

He then rolled the two of you over so that he was now on top, but it caused you to hit the top of your head against the headboard. 

“Oww, goddamnit Seto!” You said jokingly as he settled himself between your legs once again. 

He mumbled an apology, tugging you away from the headboard and pressing a kiss against the crown of your head. You laughed a little at Seto’s caring gesture. 

“I thought we agreed that _I_ would be taking charge?” 

Seto moved down a little and pressed your noses together. 

“You can still give me instructions." 

You rolled your eyes at him. 

"What would you like me to do now?” 

His voice was just barely above a whisper as he leaned toward your ear and pressed a kiss on the area below it. You moaned softly. 

“Well, you can keep kissing my neck like that.” 

“Like this?” As soon as the question left his lips Seto placed a rather fervent kiss at the base of your neck, causing you to arch your back slightly and gasp quietly. 

“Yeah,” you replied, your voice was breathy and hoarse, “like that.” 

Seto really seemed to be getting the hang of it, you hated to admit; while things were awkward earlier, you expected it to _continue_ to be awkward the whole time- hell you _wanted_ it to be awkward the whole time, just so you can have something to hold over Seto’s head to remind him that he isn’t the best at everything. But you felt something wet dribble up your neck, causing you to shudder violently and push Seto back slightly. 

“Ew-Seto, the hell did you do?” 

The man drew back so that he was sitting on his knees and you sat up, lifting your hand to touch your neck. 

“Jesus, you slobbered all over me,” you nearly laughed as you cleaned off your neck with one of the sheets. 

Seto frowned, folded his arms over his chest and looked down. 

“I thought I was being sexy...” he grumbled. 

“You get points for trying,” you reached up and pulled his chin up so he was looking at you. “But you get, like, negative sexy points for drooling all over my neck.” 

“ _Negative_ sexy points?” Seto practically pounced back onto you, making you laugh as your back hit the bed. “This is my first time, I need some help here.” 

You smirked up at him and moved a hand down the front of his body. 

“Oh? But I thought the great Seto Kaiba didn’t need directions.” 

He seemed to have taken notice of where your hand was going and looked at you, almost challenging you to continue to go lower. 

“Normally I don’t, but I think I’m willing to make this an exception.” 

God _damn_ his voice! He kissed you again, allowing you to once again guide him to lay on his back. As you settled into his lap you took one of his hands that rested on your hip and pressed it against your breast, grinding yourself against him as a breathy sigh escaped your lips. Seto stiffened at your actions, but he seemed to relax and grow more sure of himself judging by the way he began to toy with your breast. You jumped and recoiled slightly when he squeezed a little too hard, and he took notice. 

“Sorry,” he murmured before dipping his head down to your chest and began to kiss where he squeezed. 

It wasn’t until now that he discovered the sensitive nubs in the center of your breast, when his mouth accidentally grazed against it. You gasped a little and your hips reflexively rolled forward, creating friction that sent delicious jolts down your body. Seto looked up at you curiously before repeating his action, watching your reactions very carefully. You took another sharp breath in once he made contact, but let out a sigh when he kissed the bud. 

“Do that again,” your words were a breathy sigh, “use your mouth.” 

You felt his chest rumble before he ensnared your nipple with his mouth. You moaned and grinded yourself against him, causing him to moan in turn. You dug one hand into his hair and used the other to guide the one hand holding you by the small of your back up to your other breast. He seemed to get the idea and immediately began to massage it, lightly pinching the nub between his fingers. Seto’s mouth strayed away from its current position, choosing instead to travel and kiss along between the valley of your chest to the opposite breast. You felt something akin to electricity surge through you once his mouth made contact and pulled him closer. 

“Seto.” 

He very suddenly stopped and moved his head away, making you whine a little in protest. You felt the space between your legs basically turn into a waterfall from the mere look in his eyes and the seductively cocky smirk that curled at the corner of his lips. He pulled your face close to his, tucking some loose hair behind your ear before he leaned into it. 

“Say it again." 

You drew back and gave him a sly grin. 

“You’d have to make me.” 

At your words he immediately moved forward and was at your neck again with his lips and teeth and only a bit of tongue as his hands passionately traces over your body as you rolled against him. 

“Seto,” you said with a moan as he nipped at the juncture along your neck and shoulder. 

His moan was more akin to a growl. He grabbed your chin rather roughly and kissed you heatedly. You then moved up so that you were off his cock and sitting on his lower belly, reaching behind you and taking him into your hand. He inhaled through his nose once you ran your thumb over the head that started to ooze with pre-cum. 

“Should I be doing something to you?” his voice was raspy sounding and his eyelids fluttered slightly. 

_God this man is beautiful._ You thought for a moment. 

“Have you ever heard of the term ‘oral sex’?” 

Seto paused briefly. 

“Well, oral implies using your voice or mouth, so sex with your mouth? How is that any different from French Kissing?” 

You drew back, hesitating before covering your face with both of your hands in an attempt to smother your laughter. Seto, however, gave you an odd look. 

“Did I say something funny?” 

You threw your head back and burst into roaring laughter. 

“Oh Seto, my sweet summer child.” 

Seto frowned. 

“...what _is_ oral sex?” 

You flopped your hands into your lap and looked down at him with a grin, silently debating whether you _should_ tell him. You pat his chest. 

“Maybe someday I’ll tell you.” 

Seto frowned at you, but you saw him grit his teeth and his right eye twitched when you held his cock again and smeared the pre-cum all over the tip. 

“You still didn’t tell me what to do to you.” 

You rose an eyebrow at him, and he matched your expression. You looked him in the eye and held his gaze as you took one of his hands, guiding it down your body until it finally touched your slick heat. The absolutely fascinated expression on his face made you giggle as soon as he touched you. 

“It’s just like using a touchpad on a keyboard,” you directed with a breathy sigh as his long fingers began to trace over your slit. “Only it’s supposed to be wet.” 

“Ah, I see.” 

You gave yourself a mental pat on the back for making a comparison that the computer nerd laying beneath you could understand. 

“You’re certainly _very_ wet,” Seto teased as he continued to stroke you. “Am _I_ making you do this?” 

You rolled your eyes. 

“No, it’s _definitely_ not because of you. Can’t you tell how incredibly turned off I am because of you?” 

You sharply jolted at the discomfort when Seto grazed over your sensitive clit, and he gave you a concerned look. 

“What happened?” 

You pushed his hand away from the bundle of nerves and pat his hand reassuringly. 

“Nothing, you just touched my clit when your fingers were dry and it hurt a little. That’s all.” 

Seto rose an eyebrow. 

“Suppose I should touch it when it isn’t as dry, shouldn’t I?” 

You absolutely hated how quick he was picking this whole sex thing up. His deft fingers danced along your opening to collect some of the moisture before trailing them back up to your clit, this time touching it gently. You whimpered at the contact while you gripped his cock and slid your fist down his shaft. 

“Hang on.” 

Seto glowered at you as you flopped yourself back on the bed, giving him a rather full view of yourself as you reached over your head to grab one of the bottles of lube that lay at the foot of the mattress. 

“God, you’re beautiful.” 

You were certain that he meant to say that mostly to himself, but you couldn’t help how your heart swelled from the compliment. You said nothing in return and grabbed a random bottle of basic lubricant. You sat back up, smiling rather innocently when you opened the cap and squeezed a generous amount of it into your palm. Seto looked at you suspiciously. 

“What exactly are you planning on using that for?” 

_Oh come on_ , you thought. _He can’t possibly be THAT naïve_. 

"Have you ever masturbated before?” 

The look of utter confusion that was on his face was probably the sweetest and most innocent thing you had seen, because of course he hasn't. 

“Nevermind, you’ll see.” 

You carefully watched his face as you took him into your now lubricated hand, which now easily slid along his shaft. You snorted when you saw his eyelids flutter slightly, but a strong surge of arousal shot through you when you saw how his eyebrows began to knit together and how he tugged his lower lip in between his teeth. His back arched slightly and a rather strangled sounding moan left his lips. You made a similar noise when you felt his fingers apply a little more pressure onto you before they slipped in. 

“Fuck, Seto.” 

For the third time you felt him flip the two of you over so that you were on your back, but this time there weren’t any mishaps. Seto busied himself with kissing you, though he slowly took his fingers out and slowly pushed them back into you. You occupied yourself by pumping your hand up and down as much of his length as you could reach, which wasn’t a whole lot considering the position you were in and how you were straining your arm slightly just to reach him. You smirked into the kiss as he rolled his tongue over yours and felt him shudder, you even felt his hips move only slightly in time with your fist. His own hand, however, continued to stroke at an excruciatingly slow pace. You let out a frustrated whine and gave him a firm squeeze, making him jump a little and gasp. 

“Faster.” 

His nose was touching yours and his lips were millimeters away from you. He was panting slightly and his breath caused the hair in your face to flutter. You frowned at his smirk, strongly resisting the urge to smack that stupid grin off of his stupid face. 

“Oh I’m sorry, what did you say?” 

He was messing with you, and there was no way in hell that he didn’t know how frustrated you were getting. You ran your hand through your hair in an attempt to control your irritation. 

“Seto. For the love of fuck, please move your hand faster.” 

You began to slow your other hand down to see if you could tease him back, but it didn’t have nearly as much of an effect on him as he had over you. 

“Like this?” 

He began to move his hand in a rhythm that was much faster than before, but you still weren’t quite satisfied. 

"Harder.” 

He obliged, finally putting an end to his teasing in favor of watching you writhe and tremble underneath him in pleasure- the fucking sadist. You desperately reached out for his shaft, trying to do to him what he was doing to you, but you found it difficult to concentrate when you felt his fingers curl inside of you. 

“You’re getting too good at this,” you barely managed to whisper in between moans and pants, reaching a hand up to grasp at the pillows and the headboard for purchase. 

“Like I said before,” you didn’t need to look at him to know that the self-satisfied smile was back on his face, “I’m a fast learner.” 

You cried out when his thumb pressed against your clit and you quickly released. Seto was curious about your reaction and patiently waited for you to come down from your high so that you could explain. You laughed breathlessly and ran a hand through your hair, satisfaction rippled through your body as you looked up at him through half-lidded eyes. 

“Shit, I didn’t expect you to make me orgasm our first time. Kudos to you my man.” 

He gave you a puzzled look and tilted his head to the side a little, looking like a confused puppy. 

“Does that not happen normally?” 

You shifted yourself so that you were more comfortable, the sheets underneath you were getting overbearingly warm. 

“Normally when it’s a man and woman’s first time ever having sex, the woman doesn’t really orgasm on their first try. Because neither of them know what they're doing." You grinned, "I guess this just means I'm a good teacher.” 

A comfortable silence passed over the two of you, and you gave yourself a moment to bask in it before you spoke again.

“You can go ahead and put a condom on, if you still want to do this.” 

“Which one?” 

Oh right, you forgot that Seto had bought a thousand different kinds of condoms. You sat up and scooched yourself down to the foot of the bed, taking a moment to appreciate how nice his ass looked before sitting in front of Condom Mountain. 

“Jesus, how much sex do you think I’ve had for you to buy every kind of condom that was made on earth?” 

Seto clicked his tongue in annoyance. 

"I don’t know. I didn’t really think about _that_ when I sent Isono out to buy them, I just told him to get as many as he could.” 

The sudden image of Seto’s bodyguard, dressed up in a suit and sunglasses and everything, walking up to a gas station cashier with his arms full of the various boxes of lubes and condoms sent you into another giggling fit. 

“You’re laughing an awful lot today,” Seto noticed. 

You looked at him when you calmed down enough, though you were still giggling. 

“I like to laugh, you make me laugh.” 

Seto took a moment to observe you before he shuffled back against the pillows. 

“Whatever. Just pick a condom already, dork.” 

You stuck your tongue and pointed your middle finger at him, though he only rolled his eyes at your childish antics. You looked over the condoms before you picked out the brand that you liked best and used the most often, practically tearing open the box and pulling out a couple of small colorful squares. Deciding that you were still in a goofy mood, you tore one of the wrappers open and unrolled that condom, then held the opening over your nose before turning back to Seto. 

“Lookie, I’m an elephant!” 

You made a small elephant noise as you lifted the condom like a trunk and laughed to yourself. The stare you received from Seto made you laugh so hard you nearly fell off the bed; but you immediately stopped laughing when you heard the firm way he said your name, and looking at him you saw an icy look in his eyes. The silence was tense enough to cut before he finally spoke. 

“You should know by now that intimacy of any form is not my specialty. I don’t know what I’m doing, and by allowing you to show me how to do this I am placing my upmost trust in you. With the way that you’ve been acting, it seems that you’ve been taking this whole ordeal as a joke. Don’t waste my time, you can go and act like a child somewhere else if you want.” 

You were both touched and hurt by his words, but you continued to hold his gaze for another moment. You tossed the condom you had unrolled aside and grabbed the second one you pulled out as you crawled up to him. 

“Seto,” you spoke quietly, settling yourself into his lap before placing a hand on his cheek. “I’m sorry. Really, I am. I thought that being funny and goofy would help make you relax. Being silly is pretty much one of the only things I know how to do.” His sapphire-blue eyes flickered back up to you as you talked, you smiled and pressed your foreheads together. “I know that this is your first time, and I’m glad that I’m going to be the one you experience this with,” you drew back a little and gave him a small but hopeful smile, brushing away some of the bangs that fell into his face. “Do you accept my apology?” 

Seto looked away for a moment to once again look at your body, and you briefly wondered if he felt as exposed and vulnerable as you did in that moment. He finally sighed. 

“You’re lucky you’re so damn cute.” 

A smile tugged at your lips, then you slipped off his lap and pretended to observe the condom in your hand. 

“How exactly do you want to do this?” 

“You tell me,” Seto replied with a shrug. 

You pursed your lips in thought before you ripped the condom package open. 

“I’ll be on top then. Wait, hold up,” you slipped a finger down to your core to make sure that you were still wet enough and gave a nod. “I should be okay. How about you, do you think you’re ready?” 

Seto looked down at his shaft, which stood up almost unwaveringly. 

“I think I’m good to go.” 

You nodded. 

“Do you want me to put the condom on, or...” you hesitated, “do...do you know how to-“ 

Seto rolled his eyes before he snatched the wrapper from your hand, now focusing his attention on unrolling the piece of lubed-up latex down his shaft. 

“I know how to put a condom on. As much as I hated it, I _did_ take a sex-education class that at least taught us how to put condoms on bananas.” 

“Shit, they made _you_ do that?” you said with a slight chuckle, to which he gave a confirming grunt. “And now you’re putting it on _your_ banana!” 

He glared at you, but once he completely rolled the condom onto his shaft, pinching the tip of it to leave some room for his ejaculation, he made a rather pathetic jazz-hands motion. 

“Ta-da.” 

The monotone way he spoke and the unenthusiastic jazz-hands he did made you laugh once more, though he didn’t seem to mind it nearly as much this time. He allowed you to crawl back onto his lap, lifting yourself a little so that you were just above his cock. 

“You ready?” you asked gently. 

He responded with a heated kiss and roaming hands. 

“That wasn’t a yes or no~,” you teased. 

He grunted impatiently. 

"Yes.” 

“Yes what?” you whispered, teasing him as much now as he was earlier, poking at his chest and face teasingly. “What do you want?” 

This time Seto groaned. 

“Damnit, I want you and I want you now.” 

“That's all I needed to hear,” you whispered. 

You slowly eased yourself down onto him before he could retort, his hands practically flew to your hips and his fingers began to dig into the flesh as you took him in. 

“Feels that good already, huh?” 

Seto glared at you. 

“...shut up.” 

You moaned as you felt him go deeper into you, gripping at his shoulders the further down you moved. Once you hit his pelvis you wound your arms around his neck, letting out a breathy moan directly next to his ear to see if you could spur him on. He responded with a quiet hum and pressed your body closer to his. 

“How are you doing? You okay?” Your voice was a little breathy, considering he was inside you finally. He could only respond with a nod, and you smiled. “Good, good. I’m gonna keep going, is that alright?” 

Seto once again nodded and you couldn’t tear your eyes away from his face. His eyes were closed and you could see them rolling from beneath his eyelids, his breathing was beginning to hitch, and he clenched his jaw. You pressed kisses along his jawline and down his neck as you began to rock your hips, but he took your chin gently in one hand and brought it down so you could meet his lips with your own. You smiled when you heard his moans, proud that you could take one of the most ruthless man in the world and reduce him to a moaning mess beneath you. 

Unfortunately for you, Seto’s grip tightened on you and he stiffened before releasing a relaxed sigh. It ended _way_ too soon, you couldn’t even begin to enjoy yourself. You pouted a bit as you slipped off of him, but all feelings of bitterness vanished when he pulled you against his chest, tucking his chin on top of your head and wrapping his arms around you. Who knew that the great Seto Kaiba was such an after-sex cuddler? He hardly ever cuddled with you, not even when he was sleeping! 

“Do you wanna take that condom off?” you asked quietly. 

“In a bit,” Seto’s voice was quiet and he sounded surprisingly content. 

You looked up at him and smiled. He opened one eye and looked down at you before closing it again. 

“You’re smiling like a love-sick idiot.” 

You snuggled closer into his chest. 

“Maybe that’s because I am.” 

Seto chuckled and kissed the top of your head before settling back into the comfortable post-sex silence. 

“We should do this more often,” you suggested. 

Seto opened his eyes and looked down at you. One of his rare sincere smiles stretched across his face. 

“Agreed.” 


	2. First Time Having Shower Sex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Seto decide to try and make things..."steamy"
> 
> ...I'll see myself out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha ha! I decided to make this a one-shot series of awkward "First Times" with the lovingly awkward Kaiba and the reader. I'm loving Kaiba being serious in the streets, but awkward in the sheets. Hopefully you all enjoy this chapter!
> 
> Warning: this chapter DOES contain a lot more sex stuff, so be warned! Don't be afraid to let me know if you guys think I should add warnings to the chapters of the sorts of sex stuff that occur, I wanna make sure my readers are comfortable reading these stories.

You yawned a little as you sat against the blue sheets of the bed you and Seto had shared, bored of just playing on your phone and completing homework for your university. That’s when your ears practically perked up to the sound of Seto in the shower, and a mischievous idea had come to mind. You carefully slipped off the bed, quickly snatched a condom from your bedside drawer, and quietly made your way over to your attached bathroom while shedding off your clothes and made it to the steaming shower. You took a moment to admire Seto’s figure, at least from what you could see of him through the steam in the large glass cubicle of your shared shower.

Out of courtesy, you knocked on the glass door. This seemed to have startled him slightly and he gave you a puzzled look before he opened the door, his perfectly god-like body dripping with water from the shower once the steam from the warm shower puffed out from the door.

“Is there something I can help you with?” He asked before taking a moment to observe your naked body.

You grinned up at him as you ducked under his arm and went ahead into the shower.

“I just figured that we could save some water by showering together,” you replied with a wink as you closed the shower door behind you.

Seto gave you a confused look.

“I can afford utilities, I don’t see why we need to save water when I’m rich.”

You pressed your lips together and frowned at him.

“...Seto. I’m naked, you’re naked, take a moment to think about why I could _possibly_ be in here.”

You could practically see the clockwork move in his brain and steam blow out of his ears as he processed your information and continued to gaze at your body. You folded your arms over your chest and leaned against the damp wall while you waited for him to eventually respond.

“...do you want to have sex?”

You finger-gunned at him.

“Bingo my dude!” 

“...oh.”

Sometimes Seto could be so incredibly naïve, especially when it came to the world of sex, and you found it hilarious. You laughed as you stepped under the warm water, releasing a pleased hum as you closed your eyes and took a moment to enjoy the warmth. You heard Seto move to stand in front of you, probably hesitating to do anything else.

“...how do you want to do this?”

“How do _you_ want to do this?” you challenged.

After a few beats of silence, you opened an eye and peeked over at your boyfriend, whose face began to turn red as he watched the water trickle down your body. You giggled at his expression before you grabbed his forearms and gently tugged him a little closer to you so that your slippery and warm bodies were touching.

“You should know by now how the sex works, Seto.” You shrugged as you ran your hands through your hair and began to set about with actually showering. “Just do what you learned works.” A thought suddenly popped into your mind that made you laugh a little, “if you go down on me, I’ll shampoo and condition your hair.”

The only thing that was heard was the sound of the running water from the shower, and when you opened your eyes again you saw confusion lace Seto’s incredibly handsome features.

“You want me to do _what_ to you?”

“...oh right, I don’t think I ever told you what oral sex was,” you said aloud, mostly to yourself. “Umm, so do you know what a blowjob is?”

Once you finished rinsing out the shampoo from your hair, Seto passed you the conditioner so that you wouldn’t have to blindly fumble for the bottle.

“I’ve _heard_ of the term, I’m just not sure what it is.”

You rolled your eyes behind your closed eyelids as you lathered the conditioner into your hair.

“You have a phone with internet, why don’t you ever use it?”

You ran your hands over your face with water, blinking it away and looked at Seto again. He placed a hand on his hip and frowned at you, and you shot a quick glance down to his hardened cock. Seto noticed, but he didn’t seem nearly as embarrassed about it as last time- in fact he actually smirked a little and seemed quite proud that he caught you staring.

“Why would I waste my time looking it up when I have you here to explain it to me?”

You snorted at his comment as you thought about a tactful way to tell him about the mystical arts of oral sex.

“Well, oral sex is a sexual act where instead of using something like your hand or fingers or genitals, you use your mouth as stimulation.”

Seto gave you a puzzled look that made you release a bark of a laugh.

“Why would anyone want to do that?”

You continued to laugh as you shrugged.

“Don’t knock it ‘til you try it, my friend. So when I say that I’ll suck you off, blow you, or go down on you, that usually implies oral sex. For ladies, the terminology is also going down, or it can also be referred to as being eaten out.”

Seto quirked an eyebrow at you.

“You seem to know an awful lot about all of this...”

You frowned at him, slightly insulted. You stood up on your tip-toes, reached up, and flicked his forehead.

“That was a little rude. I thought we both agreed that it was a good thing that I had some experience in this field?”

Your boyfriend rolled his eyes before suddenly gripping your shoulders, turning you, and pinning you to a nearby wall. The action knocked the breath out of you, you were hella surprised by the sudden action. You certainly weren’t complaining though, especially at the feel of him kissing and nipping at the more sensitive side of your neck.

“I never said it was a bad thing,” he said in between his ministrations, causing you to squirm a little, “I was just making an observation.”

You groaned when he took a step back, and you both shuffled around awkwardly in the shower. You couldn’t tell if this was something he was willing to try or not- but then he finally spoke up:

“...so, how would we go about it?”

_Oh, well this is a surprise._

“Uhhhh, for which one?”

Seto blushed, but he seemed to ignore it and continued to look at you with a willingness to learn.

“...I would like to try to... _go down_ on you, as you so eloquently put it.”

You damn near slipped and died of a heart attack at Seto’s suggestion. You spluttered and were a flustered mess, just so incredibly taken aback by him that he was starting to grow annoyed. 

“Nevermind then, I can probably figure it out.”

You laughed nervously, still trying to wrap your head around the fact that Japan’s most powerful business man was entirely willing to get on his knees for you.

“Uhhhhhhhh, okay, if you’re really willing to do this...” The serious look Seto gave you made your body grow hot, and not just because of the shower. “Well...start by, uh, getting on your knees...”

Seto arched an eyebrow at you, but he maintained eye-contact with you as he sunk down to stand on his knees before you. He held your hips in his larger hands, and you shyly reached down to pull his hair back so that it was mostly out of his face. The shower droplets in his hair and the fiery look of determination in his beautiful lust-filled eyes made your knees quake and your breath hitch. He pressed his lips against your belly, still locking eyes with you.

“Now what?”

God fucking _DAMN_ this man and his voice! You continued to blush, still unused to giving instructions to him even though he insisted on it. He lightly nipped at the skin of your hip to get a response out of you.

“Tell me what to do.”

You internally shrieked, but outwardly released a quiet moan. You could barely hear him over the running water, but the husky way he spoke made goosebumps rise on your skin. You were entirely sure that he knew _precisely_ what he was doing to you, especially when you saw the slight smirk on his face. You bit your lip as you looked down at him, your mind already growing foggy and clouded just from the promise of what was going to happen next.

“Uh...you should take my leg and put it over...over your...” Seto watched as your face began to grow more and more red due to your embarrassment, though he waited for you patiently. “...shoulder.”

Seto easily did as you told him to, taking one of your knees and hooking it over one of his broad shoulders. Though because of the inevitable height difference, his head was still at your belly and you had to hobble due to how high you had to lift your leg. You laughed a little, because of course something awkward had to happen.

“You’re going to need to go down a little, uh, _lower_ , if you catch my drift.”

Seto nodded, readjusting himself so that he was sitting properly on his knees and against his shins. You shuddered as you felt his breath against your core, and he waited for your next orders.

“...now use your, uh,” you began to gesture to your mouth, but Seto gave you a faux puzzled look. “U-use your...” you quietly groaned to yourself, hating that you had to say this out loud, “...tongue, to...”

Luckily for you, Seto didn’t force you to finish your sentence and instead stuck his tongue out and traced it right along your slit, making you gasp and shudder a little. It had been _quite_ a long time since you had received any head, so you were sure that you were going to enjoy this experience. You sighed blissfully at the feeling, and you were sure that Seto was watching you for your reactions very carefully, and the fact that you knew he was staring at you as he pleasured you only made you more and more excited.

“Seto.”

His name escaped your lips and was meddled with a moan. The man below you moved his tongue up to your clit, causing you to lurch forward slightly and you moved one hand into your hair and pressed the other against the tile wall to brace yourself. You were just glad that your boyfriend had enough common sense so that you didn’t have to micro-manage him through oral. You rolled your eyes up and closed them at the feel of his lips sucking around the most sensitive part of you and cried out.

Much to your frustration Seto drew back and gave you a puzzled look.

“I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

You felt your heart melt a little at his concern, so you chuckled breathlessly and shook your head.

“ _GOD_ no.”

He hummed in response before he went straight back to work, but with more vigor and determination in his movements. You tightly grabbed at his hair and opened your mouth wide to moan loudly. Seto jolted and stopped once again, glaring at you rather harshly. You laughed nervously, he apparently doesn’t like hair tugging.

“Sorry babe.”

He didn’t say anything, but continued to give you a dirty look as he delved right back in. His hands trailed up and down your body: occasionally stopping at your breasts to give them a squeeze, palming at your hips to hold you in place, cupping your rear, and tightly gripping your thighs. 

You were _just_ about to reach your peak when your foot suddenly glided forward as though you were on ice. You felt yourself collide with poor Seto’s unsuspecting face before you slammed down onto the tiles of the shower floor, sliding a little as you curled up into a ball at the pain.

“Ow, fuck!”

Your voice echoed a little loudly in the shower, your back screaming in pain from the fall. Seto only groaned, looking up at him you saw that he was covering his nose with his hands. You noticed blood seeping through the gaps of his fingers and you immediately stood up.

“Seto! Oh my god, are you okay?”

“Does it _look_ like I’m okay?” Seto grumbled, though his voice was muffled by his hands.

“I’ll go grab some tissues-“

“It’s already easy to clean since we’re in the shower,” Seto said, sounding disgruntled. “We’ll just need to wait this out.”

You hesitantly nodded, stepping back from the shower door and choosing to lean against the wall and slide down so that you were sitting. The two of you sat in disgruntled silence as you waited for Seto’s nose to stop bleeding.

“...so, you come here often?” You joked, chuckling nervously at your shitty attempt at easing the situation.

Seto let out an unamused hum in response and shifted so that he was off his knees, scooting to lean on the wall opposite of you as he waited for the nosebleed to end. He eyed you, his eyes still holding a slight trace of lust as he observed your body: your flushed cheeks and chest, your disheveled and damp hair, and the erotic noises you had made replayed in his head. He smirked at you, and you noticed and began to shift awkwardly under his heated stare.

“What?”

“You seemed like you were enjoying yourself, while it lasted.”

You blushed madly, embarrassed to have been called out. You hid your face in your hands and pulled your knees tighter to your chest. You heard Seto chuckle before you felt him take your wrists and gently pull your hands from your face, giving you an amused grin as he kneeled in front of you.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you act so bashful before.”

You observed him for a moment, noticing that his nosebleed was gone. You reached up and swiped a stray bit of blood from his nose, then rinsed it off.

“I’m just sorry this adventure ended so badly. Is your nose okay?”

You kept your hand on his cheek and rubbed your thumb against the warm flesh. He placed one of his larger hands over yours, turning his face and placing a kiss against your palm.

“It’s certainly seen better days, but I think I’ll survive.”

You laughed before you pulled his face down to you and kissed him eagerly. Seto seemed a little caught off-guard, but he responded quickly and with surprising vigor that made you chuckle at first. He was pretty much shielding your body from the warm water, not that he seemed to mind very much. Seto’s lips moved from the side of your mouth and over to your ear.

“How about we pick up where we left off?” his voice was practically a purr, causing you to shiver.

You smirked at him in response.

“I’m not sure if we should go back to _that_ when I damn near killed us both.”

Seto rolled his eyes.

“Don’t be dramatic. You injured me, yes. But I’m more than willing to get right back into it if you are.”

You felt your heart hammer against your chest, you certainly hadn’t expected Seto to be so interested in giving you oral – especially for such a powerful and egotistical man who had no experience in the sexual field, you expected him to want you to try oral sex on him. But he didn’t ask you to, instead wanting to focus on figuring out everything pertaining to you and it made you heart melt.

You finally nodded.

“I guess we can.”

Seto helped you stand back up, this time he held your hand and intertwined the fingers to ensure that you wouldn’t fall again. He looked at you with smoldering eyes before his lips and tongue went back to where he left off. You’ve known that Seto was diligent in everything he did, was it really all _that_ surprising that he was so determined to get you off? You whimpered a little and gripped at his scalp as the pleasure began to build up in your lower belly, making your legs tremble and quake. 

Seto watched you like a hawk, keeping an eye on you and ensuring that you wouldn’t slip and fall this time while making sure you were enjoying the experience as much as he was. He secretly delighted in the sounds and faces you made, it gave him a real sense of pride whenever your hips twitched or your legs buckled- not to mention it was a pleasant feeling whenever you massaged his scalp. He certainly didn’t mind your taste and was actually very surprised by it, not entirely sure what he expected to begin with. And the way his name was said in that breathy voice of yours stroked his ego deliciously, he would shudder and feel himself grow more aroused each time you said it. He grinned as he felt your grip on his hair tighten a little more as your cries and movements became more and more desperate.

“Seto!”

You finally reached that peak of bliss, arching your back in a way that would have been painful if you weren’t in such a high state of euphoria. You had tilted your head back as your vision turned to white, ignoring the fact that your head bumped against the tiles behind you. Seto continued to surprise you by helping you ride out your orgasm, though it grew a little painful as Seto continued on your overly sensitive parts. You reached down and tapped the side of his face.

“Ow, Seto, you can stop now.”

He looked up at you and gave one more kiss to your thigh before he stood back up, his knees and shins were slightly red and indented with the texture of the floor tiles of the shower, and he waited for you to catch your breath. His eyes examined your flushed body and heaving chest, amused by how splotchy your chest, shoulders, and face had gotten. You held up your forefinger to him as you continued to pant before you opened the door to fetch the condom you had brought with you, unwrapping it and handing the condom off to him. Seto rolled it on easily.

“Will the lube wash off with the water?”

You shook your head, running a hand through your wet hair.

“Not really. Do you have any idea how you want to do this?”

Seto gave you a blank expression.

“Preferably with my penis in your vagina.”

You laughed loudly at how he mispronounced the two words, just as you had during the first time. You held your arms out for him.

“That can easily be arranged~.”

Seto took a step towards you, but suddenly slipped and slid forward, causing him to crush your body between himself and the wall behind you. You bumped into the wall as well, which wasn’t nearly as painful since you were warm and already close to the wall, and you laughed more.

“Are you okay?” you asked in between your giggles.

Seto frowned as he took a moment to properly steady himself.

“I _will_ be,” he said with an annoyed grunt. He placed his forearm above you so that it was parallel to the floor and leaned against it as he placed his other hand on your hip, his gaze suddenly becoming smoldering. “How do we do this?”

You smirked and bit your lip up at him as you thought of all the ways you wanted him to take you.

“There are all sorts of positions we could do in here-“

“Then allow me to rephrase,” he leaned forward so that your noses barely touched, “how do you want me to fuck you?”

Oh lord, you could have sworn you were having a heart attack with how fast your heart pounded against your chest. You moaned softly at his suggestive words, already feeling your desire for him rekindle.

“However the fuck _you_ want to,” you whispered heatedly.

Before Seto could respond back you grabbed his face and kissed him with every ounce of want that was in your body, with him following behind after a millisecond. He lifted your legs up and caged your body between the wall and his own, you wrapped your legs around his waist as excitement sparked through you. He grinded his hips against you and you felt just how hard he was, taking the moment when you moaned to slip his tongue into your mouth. You both clutched at each other’s heads, both of you breathing hard through your noses and only breaking for half a second to change your head positions. 

Finally, he slipped inside, making you break away from the kiss and moan at the feeling. Seto grit his teeth together, moving his head down to focus on kissing your neck and shoulders and anywhere else he could reach as he began to move. You could do very little except for moan and dig your nails into the flesh of Seto’s back, though you could move slightly with him if you felt like giving your abs a workout- which you weren’t all that eager to do. 

You and Seto had been having sex for quite a while now, and you were glad when his endurance had built up to the point that you could orgasm either with him or at least before he finished. The tell-tale signs that he was close were his breathing would hitch slightly, he would bury his face into the crook of your neck or he would kiss you, his grip on you would tighten, his thrusts got quicker and sloppier, he would allow a few moans to slip out, and he would hold your hand and weave your fingers together and grip it tightly as he or both of you came. You were happy that Seto was becoming more and more intimate with you through this whole ordeal, and you certainly felt special knowing that you were his first sexual encounter.

Your second orgasm rippled through you, though not as intensely as the first one, and you cried out his name once again. Your name fell from his own lips before he stiffened and gripped you tightly, then slumped a little against you. The two of you panted. You removed your legs from around his waist and slowly slid back down against the wall and sat, Seto slumping with you and resting his head on your shoulder. After only a few more seconds Seto grunted and stood up, though his legs were a little wobbly, which reminded you of a baby giraffe after it was born, and walked out of the shower and to the nearby trashcan to throw away the condom. You took this time to slowly clean yourself up, a perk to sex in the shower, and finish your showering routine as he came back in. He watched you as you quickly finished and turned the water off, looking at you with a question hidden in his eyes. You smiled up at him as you wrung your hair out.

“You have a question, sir?”

You brushed past him and left the shower, shivering slightly at the sudden release of the steam into the regular temperature of the room. Seto wrapped you in one of his royal blue towels before grabbing one for himself to dry off.

“...was that good for you?”

You rolled your eyes at him and threw your used towels in his face.

“If it wasn’t good for me, I wouldn’t want to keep having sex with you.”

Seto removed the towel from his head and frowned at you, but you reached up and gave him a chaste kiss on his nose and smiled up at him.

“Was it good for _you_?”

Seto pursed his lips at you.

“...every time with you is good for me.”

You dramatically clutched your heart, caught off guard by his suddenly sweet words. Seto rolled his eyes at you as he grabbed the pair of boxers that were neatly folded on the bathroom counter.

“Come on, get dressed. I’d like to get at least _some_ sleep before work.”

You rose an eyebrow at the use of the word “some”, grinning up at him a little.

“If you’re implying what I _think_ you’re implying, then why bother putting underwear on?”

Seto had just started to step into his boxers and paused midway before he tossed the undergarments to the side.

“Touché.”


	3. First Time Having Car Sex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just as the title says. You fuck the bean-pole in the back of your car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would you look at that, I got around to finishing up this chapter! *confetti*
> 
> So this was mostly inspired by the Shane Dawson video where he takes Jeffree Star to Walmart to live a day in a normal person's shoes. I thought that I would apply that to Kaiba and the lovely reader, mostly because I thought it would be a funny thing to write.

For your date tonight, you had insisted that you and Seto take your shoddy car and have you drive everywhere the two of you went. You had wanted to see what his reaction to living like an everyday person would be like and planned on taking him to the very low-end convenience stores, then you eventually came up with the idea of getting him to have sex with you in the car as the finishing touch of what all your highschool rendezvous had been like. Seto had initially objected to this, but you managed to convince him that you wanted to try “something new with him”, telling him this with several winks and nudges until he finally understood what you meant. You were beginning to find out that while the man was an absolute genius in his own right, he was absolutely as dense as a brick wall when it came to you implying sex to him. You quickly discovered that instead of being discreet about wanting sex and using clever innuendos, you would just have to be blunt about the subject:

“I want to fuck you in the back of my car, Seto.”

Seeing Seto’s reaction never failed to make you laugh, just seeing him stare dumb-foundedly at you and say “oh” charmed you all the more and made you excited to see his reactions to every new idea you had wanted to try. It had been a few months since the two of you initially started entering a sexual relationship, but you weren’t exactly surprised that Seto very rarely was the one who initiated it. Hell, he always seemed surprised whenever you said you wanted to bone, as though he couldn’t really comprehend that somebody would actually be willing to have sex with him. He didn’t even know about all of the magazines published about him or the hundreds of thirst posts people shared of him online, and absolutely floundered when you scrolled through the thirst tweets one night, cackling the entire time. The man barely remembers to sleep and eat, it wasn’t surprising that he neglected other needs as well.

So here the two of you were. You sat in the driver’s seat sipping on your drink from a fast food joint as Seto sat practically folded in half in the passenger’s seat typing away at his phone, you laughed at the absurd sight. You had insisted that he wear casual clothes, although there was hardly anything in his closet that cost less than $400. You were very close to just buying him an extremely cheap outfit from a nearby Walmart had you not known that Seto would absolutely demolish you. You had been wearing one of your favorite tee-shirts, a pair of jeans, and a pair of slip-on shoes, and Seto had been wearing a simple navy button-down dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, a pair of green-slate colored slacks and black shoes- no matter what he wore, he always looked delicious. You had parked on the top of an isolated hill, watching the sun as it set. It was supposed to be romantic, but your boyfriend was doing his damndest to let you know about his displeasure.

“Damn, I’m not getting any signal here.”

You rolled your eyes as you set your drink in the cupholder.

“Yeah, because heaven forbid the two of us converse like normal humans.”

Seto gave you a pointed look, not breaking eye-contact with you as he slipped his phone into his pocket.

“Happy now?”

“Mmmm, maintaining eye-contact is so hot,” you said dryly.

Your boyfriend frowned at you.

“How exactly are we supposed to have sex in here? This car is incredibly cramped, I doubt the both of us will be able to lay back there very comfortably.”

You glanced over your shoulder to the back of the car before turning back to him and shrugging.

“That’s why people usually do it with the girl on top, like they do in those crappy romance movies.”

Seto nodded, understanding.

“Well, shall we get started?” he asked as he opened the passenger door.

You blinked and shook your head a little, surprised that he wanted to get this going so quickly. You gave him a coy smile.

"Of course!"

He nodded, closing the passenger door behind him the opened the rear door and slipped into his new seat, still looking cramped as hell. Rather than getting out of the car, you decided to go the inconvenient route and squeezed yourself into the back seat, nearly kneeing Seto on your way back and practically somersaulting onto his legs with as much grace as a drunk walrus. He unceremoniously pushed you towards the floor of the car when you almost kicked him, causing you to be squished in the space between the seats and the back of the driver’s seat. You frowned at him before pulling yourself out and sitting next to him in the back.

“Rude!”

Seto frowned.

“That was time consuming and entirely unnecessary of you, you could have just done what I did and gotten out of the car.”

You grinned at him before you scooted yourself to sit on his lap, though it was still incredibly cramped. Both of your heads were grazing the ceiling of the car and Seto’s knees pressed against the back of the passenger’s seat in front of him. He looked so ridiculously cramped and it was hilarious to see. You tapped on his nose as you adjusted yourself in his lap.

“Yeah, but it was more fun that way!”

Seto pressed his lips together and frowned at you, but his hands settled on your waist and pulled you a little closer. You trailed your fingers down the side of his neck and down to the top button of his dress shirt.

“ _And speaking of fun~_ ”

You bent down and began to pepper kisses against the side of his neck, causing him to jump a little in surprise. Goosebumps began to prickle at his skin when you kissed particularly sensitive areas and his grip on you tightened a little. It was amusing for you, touching areas on his body and watching him shudder or gasp. His reactions differed depending on the amount of pressure you used and if you used your hands, finger tips, nails, lips, teeth, or tongue on him, and it made you giddy to see his cold façade crumble even a little. As you moved to claim his lips with your own, you worked on unbuttoning his shirt and immediately pressed your hands against the firm muscle of his chest. He gave a small hum at your touch and slipped his hands under the fabric of your tee-shirt, the tips of his fingers slightly digging into your flesh as he pulled you closer to him. You jumped a little when one of his large hands unexpectedly dove right under your bra and you bumped the top of your head on the ceiling of the car.

“Ow!”

It didn’t _really_ hurt, but you had grown accustomed to saying ‘ow’ to anything. You rubbed at the top of your head and broke the kiss a little to recover. Seto didn’t seem to hold any sympathy for you and instead tugged impatiently at your shirt, pulling it up enough to uncover your chest and made quick work of kissing the newly revealed flesh. You laughed at how spurred on he seemed to be as you pulled your shirt off the rest of the way and tossed it on the floor of your car.

“My, my, you sure seem impatient today.”

You tilted your head back and sighed when Seto began to kiss at your neck and clavicle, reaching behind you to undo the clasps of your bra.

“I’m always impatient when it comes to getting what I want,” he replied, his voice was quiet.

You laughed again when he struggled with the clasps, since he was unable to see what he was doing particularly well, and you ended up reaching behind your back and unclasping it with expert ease. Seto took in the sight of you, admiring how your skin seemed to glow under the moonlight coming in through the windows before his hands groped at your breasts and he kissed you again. You had just finished unbuttoning his shirt and practically tore it out of his pants to completely remove it. You sighed through your nose at the feel of your chests touching, this was honestly your favorite part of getting intimate, and clutched at Seto’s head to pull him closer to you. You hummed when you felt his thumb and forefingers grasp your nipples and gently pinch at them, grinding a little into his lap and sighing into the kiss. Seto easily took advantage of your sighing and slipped his tongue into your mouth, making that cute little noise whenever the two of you made out and you smiled. 

You trailed your fingernails up his sides and up his ribcage, making him shudder and arch his back a little. You slipped off of his lap and into the seat to sit next to him, grinning up at him and his confused expression. You undid his belt and tugged at his pants.

“What are you wanting to do?” He was genuinely curious as he lifted his butt to help you tug his pants off.

You continued to grin up at him.

“Remember when you gave me head in the shower?” Seto nodded. “Would it be alright if I... _returned the favor?_ ” You purred, hoping that you sounded seductive as you slipped your hand into his boxes and grasped him.

Seto stiffened a little in his seat as you touched him, but you waited for him to respond before you went any further. There was a faint blush on his cheeks and he seemed to be considering your offer.

“...as long as _you_ want to, do what you like.”

You smiled up at him, reaching up to kiss him affectionately on the cheek before you tugged down his underwear, amused when you saw his cock flop unceremoniously against his belly. Just to amuse yourself, you pressed his dick with your forefinger and pushed it so that it stood up more, then released it so that it fell back against Seto’s belly with a ‘thump’. You laughed a little as you repeated the motion a couple of times, though you knew that he was getting a little impatient as he let out an annoyed growl. You moved up to give Seto a fleeting kiss that he was eager to reciprocate had you not moved away so quickly.

You finally settled into the seat next to you so that you would be able to lean into his lap easily before you gave a long and slow lick from the base of his cock all the way up to the tip. You sent a fleeting look up at Seto to see what his reaction was like so far, he seemed okay. He wasn’t looking at you though, he had his eyes closed with his lips pressed together and twisted, as if he was already struggling to keep quiet. You smiled to yourself as you repeated the motion, running your tongue along the length of his shaft before you licked slowly at the head- this made Seto release a quiet grunt and arch his back. You noticed his hand twitched, so you grabbed it with your free hand and placed it on the back of your head, humming happily at the feeling of his fingers massaging your scalp.

“Fuck,” Seto whispered, his voice practically a sigh as you wrapped your lips around the head and gave a suck.

You wrapped a hand around the bottom of the head and began to slowly pump your hand up and down the rest of him. You tested the waters and reached down with your other hand to gently cup his balls. 

“Ow.”

He jerked suddenly, accidentally thrusting completely into your mouth and hitting the back of your throat- throwing you into a coughing fit after you quickly released him from your mouth.

“Jesus fuck! I was NOT prepared for that!” You choked out between coughs, your eyes watering and completely blurring your vision.

Seto placed a hand on your back and rubbed circles in an attempt to help your coughs lighten.

“Well, _I_ wasn’t prepared for you to touch me like that!”

You nodded as you regained the ability to speak normally.

“Fair enough, I’m sorry. Learned my lesson, won’t be doing that again!”

Seto shifted a little in his seat, one glance down at his cock and you noticed that the tip was fairly red and was leaking pre-cum. You sent him an apologetic smile.

“Would you like me to continue?”

Seto once again shifted so that he was further down against the seat to prevent him from hitting the top of his head against the ceiling.

“...yes.”

You smirked before you leaned over and kissed a trail down his abs back down to his cock, leaving right where you left off. You easily engulfed him completely with your mouth, now placing your hands on his hips as you worked him, moving faster and faster as his breathing began to quicken and his grip on the back of your head tightened. You grinned inwardly when your heard him whisper your name along with a few choice curse words until he stilled, shuddering a little as he came while releasing a satisfied sigh. You weren’t one to complain- he was already in your mouth, so you didn’t really mind swallowing. Once you were done you released him, then you reached back and took a sip of your drink to help get rid of the weird feeling in your mouth, also taking this moment to enjoy Seto in his little afterglow. His eyes were still closed, his face was a little more flushed, he ran a hand through his hair and he placed his other hand on your thigh as he swallowed thickly. You waited until his breathing was back to normal before you set your cup back into its holder, then moved so that you were more settled into his lap and pressed your noses together.

“Did you enjoy that?” you asked teasingly, already knowing what the answer was.

“I did,” he replied easily.

You gave him a cheeky grin as you shimmied out of your jeans and underwear, then settled yourself into his lap. You began to grind yourself against him so that he could feel how wet he had made you during the blowjob, making him shudder and rake his nails into your back.

“Come on then,” Seto hissed impatiently.

Feeling a little sadistic you grasped him from under you and teased his tip with your entrance _slowly_.

“Getting impatient, are we?” you said in a bit of a sing song voice as you attacked his neck with licks and kisses while you continued to tease him.

Seto let out an annoyed groan and clenched his jaw. His hands were desperately kneading at your sides and he dug his nails further into your flesh- either out of spite or to show you his need for you. When you looked at him his face was as red as you had ever seen it, you could see a vein in his forehead popping out dramatically. His eyes were glaring at you, but the rest of his face was soft and silently pleading. 

“You got the thing?”

Seto huffed but knew fully well what “thing” you were referring to.

“In the back pocket of my pants,” his voice was in a dangerously low register, just hearing it gave you goosebumps and made you shiver with anticipation.

You arched back to blindly search for Seto’s pants, your action pushed your breasts into Seto’s face and he immediately latched his mouth around one of your nipples. You gave a soft gasp at the sudden feel, but you weren’t gonna complain and moaned eagerly as you pulled the condom from his pants. You momentarily hopped off of him, quickly ripped open the package and rolled the rubber down onto his shaft, making sure to pinch the tip a little. You then mounted him, laughing a little as Seto’s mouth began to impatiently leave hickeys on your neck, collar bones, and breasts.

“Give me a minute, goddamn!”

Seto bit at the side of your neck- not hard enough to draw blood of course, but hard enough to let you know that he was done waiting.

“With all this teasing you did earlier, I’m certainly _not_ in the mood to wait any more.”

You gave him a small laugh before you slowly sunk down on him, though Seto’s patience seemed to have hit its limit when he completely bucked up into you in one jerk of his hips. You moaned in a mix of surprise at the rather sudden intrusion and pleasure of the general feeling of him being inside of you, then you brought his face in for an incredibly hot and heavy kiss as you began to rock against him. Still being impatient, Seto grasped your hips and began to move you up and down against him as his hips continued to thrust into you at an increasing speed. Your moans grew louder and you practically shouted his name when he hit that one place inside of you that he made sure to hit again and again. Seto was surprisingly vocal this go-around, freely moaning against your neck as you moved together at a fast and harder speed.

Your heart lurched when you suddenly saw headlights.

“Shit, stop! Someone’s down the road!”

Seto obediently stopped his movements despite how much he wanted to keep going, though he kissed and nipped at your flesh as you ducked behind the seats. You watched the lights of a car like a hawk when you saw the lights turn off, but when you squinted more at the car you saw its inhabitants and you burst into laughter.

“Oh my fucking god, _Joey_ is in that other car with Mai!”

“What?” Seto whipped his head around and peeked through the rear window. He let out an annoyed hum before he kissed the side of your face, “let’s ignore them.”

You continued to laugh, though it laced with moans as he began to roughly thrust into you.

“But what-ah, fuck- if they hear us? I’m-ah- sure they can see the car-mmmm- moving.”

Seto pulled your chin so that you were looking at him, his eyelids were lowered and his pupils were completely blown out. He had a bit of what you could only describe as an evil grin on his face.

“I don’t care, let them see us. Let them hear us. At least Wheeler will know what a good fuck is supposed to sound like.”

You were surprised by Seto’s sudden vulgarity, but you grew more aroused at his words and practically began screaming at the fast pace he was now setting. Seto had never fucked you this rough and fast before, but _god_ if it didn’t feel amazing. You arched back so that you were partially leaning your back against the center council and tangled your fingers into your hair.

“Say my name,” Seto growled. “I want Wheeler to know who you’re fucking, _who_ it is that’s making you feel so good.”

You had absolutely no qualms against stroking his ego and eagerly did as he asked.

“Seto! Oh my god Seto, _please_ don’t stop!”

He responded with his own grunts and moans, though there was a triumphant smirk that he tried to hide as he continued to thrust deeper and deeper. You arched your back and screamed at your _very_ sudden release, making sure to cry out his name as you spasmed above him. Seto’s thrusts became erratic and sloppy as he was chasing out his second release, finally throwing his head back and stilling once he hit his orgasm. The two of you continued to move as you each rode out your highs, Seto helped you sit up so he could pull you into a gentle kiss. You both hummed against each other and caught your breath as your lips moved together, drawing back to watch the other before you slumped onto his chest. Seto seemed especially eager to cuddle, pulling you close to him and running his fingers through your hair as he let out a content hum.

“Holy shit, that was spectacular,” you said with a breathless chuckle.

Seto grinned and let out a self-satisfied grunt.

“I had to one-up Wheeler. Can you even see what they’re doing?”

You peeked over the seat, making sure to hide your nakedness from them if they saw you.

“...it looks like they’re just talking or something.”

Seto humphed and pulled you back against him, the hand that was in your hair pressing you closer to him as he gave the top of your head a kiss.

“He probably realized that he isn’t as good of a lover as I am.”

You laughed at the comment, taking a moment to enjoy the feel of him against you before you pulled yourself up out of his lap and began to search for your clothes.

“We should probably get back to my place, it’s getting a little late.” You reached in the front seat and pulled out the fast food bag from your dinner, “here, you can just toss the condom in here.”

Seto did as he was told, carefully pulling off the condom to make sure it didn’t spill before tying it off and setting it in the bag. He then began to search for his own clothes- though because of his enormous height he struggled to get them back on. You laughed as you slid back into the driver’s seat and sipped at your drink while you began to go through your phone as Seto dressed. You nearly spat your drink out when you saw that you had gotten a few messages from Joey.

9:55p: _hey, is that ur car at the hill near Summers Street?_

10:02p: _would u mind keepin it down? while i’m glad to know ur gettin laid, I’m trying to get lucky 2 u know_

10:10p: _TRAITOR!!! I DIDNTKNOW U WREE DAATNG KAIBA!! Of all the self-centered jerks in the world, u HAD to date HIM?????!?!?!?!?!_

10:14p: _Oh. My. God. ur ACTUALLY having sex with him_

You burst out into a roaring fit of laughter, confusing Seto as he had gotten out of the car and just now slid into the passenger’s seat.

“What the hell are you cackling at?”

You couldn’t calm yourself down enough to explain yourself, tears streamed down your face as you handed him your phone. Seto read the messages quickly, amused when another message popped up.

10:20p: _You are dead to me._

“He even texts like an idiot.”

You nudged your boyfriend as you swiped your phone from him. You then started up the car and began to drive away, you snorted when you saw the windows of Joey’s car getting steamy. You let Seto pick the music on the drive back to his place, sitting in companionable silence despite the music playing. As you pulled up to your apartment you quickly parked the car and hopped out, making sure to grab your trash and toss it into a nearby trashcan before rushing up to Seto once he got out and closed your car door.

“You should really get a new car,” he muttered.

You blew a raspberry at him before linking elbows with him.

“So, did you have a nice time today?”

Seto paused a little before he answered.

“I guess I did.”

You snorted at him but said nothing as the two of you walked arm-in-arm into your place. You tugged out your keys from your pocket and unlocked the door, giving him a sarcastic and overly dramatic bow as you held the door open for him. He only rolled his eyes at you before he entered with you following suit.

“Maybe for our next date I could take you around town and show you what the life of a rich person is like.”

Once again, you snorted as you slipped out of your shoes and flopped onto the couch in your living room.

“Oh yeah. You’ll just rub your wealth in my face all day, make me have a heart attack at the prices of everything, and then fuck me in the back of your limousine?”

Now it was Seto’s turn to snort.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” he then made his way around the couch, surprising you with a suddenly deep and passionate kiss as he laid on top of you. He then pulled back enough to move his lips to your ear and whisper to you, “I plan to fuck you in my private jet.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you guys thought of this chapter and what sorts of shenanigans you would like to see in future chapters ;)

**Author's Note:**

> Phew! I had to re-read this SO many times to make sure I’ve caught any errors in this story. Thanks to everyone who’s read this story so far and please feel free to leave a comment! <3


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